MakeBelieve Lovers
by Ayakaishi Fei
Summary: AU. Ken and Daisuke are best friends with a gimmick that gets out of control, when they shoot to stardom. Sometimes fame and money doesn't bring happiness. **Shounen ai-ish**
1. Prologue: I've Built My Life Around You

Title: Make-Believe Lovers  
  
Author: FireDemon  
  
E-mail: Ken_Dai_Love@hotmail.com  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Category: AU. Band Fic.  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, Yaoi.  
  
Summary: AU. Ken and Daisuke are best friends with a gimmick that gets out of control, when they shoot to stardom. Sometimes fame and money doesn't bring happiness. **Shounen ai-ish**.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, it belongs to a lot of people, Toei, Fox Kids and. I forget the rest, let's just say my name isn't on the list. The idea and the badly written song, however, are all mine.  
  
Authors Notes: Rewrote this, because I realised it wasn't quite written correctly. I liked the idea, but I missed a lot of stuff out, which the reviews made me realise. Enjoy the rewritten prologue.  
  
Prologue: I've Built My Life Around You  
  
~July, 2003: Daisuke's POV~  
  
The lights are bright, and the air is unsurprisingly hot and sticky, as it's a humid evening in late July. I can feel that my skin is gleaming with perspiration, where the muggy air is clinging to my exposed dark golden skin. We've been singing for over an hour now, moving our bodies seductively, playing our roles on stage.  
  
I give the crowd my patented Motomiya grin, as I sing my line of the duet and cross to the centre of the stage. The crowd goes wild as I run a hand through my sweat-dampened burgundy locks.  
  
"Two hearts, they beat in time... Two eyes, they won't meet mine."  
  
Ken smiles, but not like me, his is a shy careful smile, and he shakes back his long blue-violet hair. It used to be shorter, shoulder-length, when we started singing, but the fans like it long. It fits the role he's playing.  
  
"Two lips so soft and sweet... One kiss means everything."  
  
I lift his pale hand to my lips as he meets me centre-stage, and echo his line in song,  
  
"One kiss means everything..."  
  
He plays his part to perfection, sweet, shy, and completely in love with me as he tilts his head slightly, indigo eyes beseeching.  
  
"Tell me when you look at me, what is it that you see?"  
  
"Something beautiful, something kind, I see a promise in your eyes."  
  
I step closer, running my dark rough-skinned hand over his comparatively pale cheek, marvelling at its softness, as I play my part on stage.  
  
Our lips meet, and I part his with experienced ease, deepening the kiss as our fans go wild. I taste a myriad of emotions in his mouth... he plays his part for the fans but for us the kiss means more... and infinitely less. I press up against him, trying to identify everything we collectively feel.  
  
Love... Hate... Lust... Disgust... Pain... Pleasure... Jealousy... Friendship... Rivalry...  
  
He breaks away, eyes filling with fabricated tears as he falls back into our set roles,  
  
"What about the shame I feel, Can't you see we're wrong?"  
  
I follow, capturing his hand and sucking lightly on the tip of his thumb, "Maybe it's forbidden, but that shouldn't make us feel ashamed. What I feel for you is pure love."  
  
"Tell me truly, tell me now..." He sings, turning back to the audience, bestowing his soft smile upon them once again. We're almost finished now.  
  
I repeat the first line of the chorus once more, and gather Ken in my embrace. His body is pressed to mine, hips grinding back as I suck lightly on his neck.  
  
He sings his line held securely in my arms, and then turns, capturing my lips with his own once again... Pretending so well that there's real emotion behind the gesture.  
  
The crowd cheers, loving it.  
  
The music softens as the song comes to an end and I smile keeping my arms wrapped around my once best-friend. I don't hate him, I don't think I ever could, but I don't love him. Or at least, not in the way that the screaming crowd believes I do. I force my cocky grin as I look out at the crowd,  
  
"Man that was heated! We just want to thank you guys for coming out here tonight, it means a lot to us."  
  
The crowd screams in response to my words and Ken smiles, looking oh so innocent, "We hope we'll see you guys again, but right now Dai owes me a blow-job."  
  
There are assorted laughs and whistles and screams from the teens, and Ken smiling, leads me off stage by my hand. His grip is tight, secure, but our fingers aren't entwined. I wonder if our fans have ever noticed that we don't hold hands like lovers should?  
  
I stare at the profile of his face as we walk. He truly is beautiful with his heavy eye-make up and effeminate features. It scares me sometimes that I think this about him.  
  
We've really gotten used to our roles; we practically live them off-stage as well as on-stage. It's only in our heads that we're not who we pretend to be.  
  
We make it to our shared dressing room and he releases my hand so that I can shut the door.  
  
"Yet another successful show executed to perfection." He tells me sardonically, his indigo eyes coldly amused behind the glittering make-up.  
  
I roll my eyes as he collapses into the chair in front of the mirror, and run my hands back through my hair, "Yes dear."  
  
"You get off on this, don't you?" He questions, not even looking at me.  
  
I raise an eyebrow at his reflection as I walk over and without even thinking about what I'm doing, begin to braid his long violet hair back. It's soft like silk beneath my fingers. The mere action of braiding his hair feels sensual and it scares me that I've gotten to the point where I can't remember in my mind exactly how I feel about my best friend.  
  
"You like seeing them so excited."  
  
"Over us?" I question, trying not to think about what he's asking of me, "I dunno. It's a working gimmick Ken."  
  
Ken stands as I finish the braid and takes off his shirt; there's no seduction in the act, no hidden motive. Our friendship isn't like that. "What about kissing me? Do you ever get off on that?"  
  
I snort with forced laughter, "Ken, you know I love you, but no, I don't get off on kissing you."  
  
I don't get off on kissing Ken. Yes he's beautiful, yes I love him, but he's also my best friend, and more importantly a guy. I can play the role Oikawa's asked of us, but I can't force my body to find Ken's body attractive. Ken I think; can read my mind sometimes,  
  
"Just an act, eh love?" He questions.  
  
"You know it is." I pull off my own shirt, and pause to wrinkle my nose at the numerous love bites Ken has marked me with. My collarbone and neck are bruised. I don't know why I call them love bites, because Ken didn't mark me out of love.  
  
"I look like a cheap prostitute." I pout at my partner; "Do you have to be so rough?"  
  
Ken shoots me a disbelieving look over his shoulder, "Me? I'm not the one who gave his best friend scratches that didn't heal for days."  
  
I grin, not sure if I'm acting or not, "Sorry baby."  
  
Our manager bursts in before Ken can reply, without even so much as knocking, and I turn to glare at him,  
  
"Is it so hard to knock?" I growl, pretending to be angrier than I really am.  
  
"Yeah!" Ken agrees, teasingly, "We could have been fucking you know."  
  
Oikawa, our manager gives us a look, "I know you guys. You wouldn't be. Now c'mon, you have to talk to the press. It's been a while since we had a heated kiss splashed over the magazine covers, lets give it a go boys."  
  
I nod, being that I'm the more "dominant" partner, and we follow him, still topless, to a larger room where the reporters from 3 or 4 different magazines are gathered.  
  
Ken slips into his part effortlessly and pouts at the reporters, "You are cruel, cruel people. Oikawa ruined a damned good orgasm. I thought you guys liked us - you hate us don't you?"  
  
I laugh, mentally applauding my partners skills, before slipping into my own part, "Hey, there's more to our relationship than just sex Kenny. But, I'll give you a consolation prize anyway..."  
  
I lean over and capture his lips in the most passionate kiss I can manage. It's harder off stage than on. And I'll never be as good at playing my role as Ken is at playing his.  
  
The reporters laugh as we snuggle together on one of the couches, and I give them my broadest grin, "Now that Ken's been placated, what did you want to ask us?"  
  
There are the usual questions, about our new songs and next concerts, which Oikawa mostly takes care of, and then one of the younger reporters, from one of the girly magazines smiles and asks the worst question she possibly could.  
  
"Not many people know much about "Forbidden", so maybe you could tell me, what made you decide to start singing together? Was it because you were lovers, or did that happen after? I'd really love to know."  
  
I exchange a look with Ken... Explaining our beginning?  
  
We were a pair of hormone driven 16 year old boys naïve enough to jump at the chance to use Oikawa's gimmick.  
  
The only problem was... Our rise to stardom was based on a lie...  
  
Authors Notes: Well, I don't know what people are going to think of this idea, I thought it was interesting, but if nobody else agrees I won't continue it.  
  
This is just the prologue, next chapter will start at the beginning, and will explain how Dai and Ken got to where they are now.  
  
So, is anyone interested? Review if you want more. 


	2. Chapter One: The Place I Feel I Should B...

Title: Make-Believe Lovers  
  
Author: FireDemon  
  
E-mail: Ken_Dai_Love@hotmail.com  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Category: AU. Band Fic.  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, Yaoi. Language.  
  
Summary: AU. Ken and Daisuke are best friends with a gimmick that gets out of control, when they shoot to stardom. Sometimes fame and money doesn't bring happiness. **Shounen ai-ish**.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, it belongs to a lot of people, Toei, Fox Kids and. I forget the rest, let's just say my name isn't on the list. The idea and the badly written song, however, are all mine.  
  
Authors Notes: I don't think I was completely clear about what this fic was really about. I was very flattered by all the responses, I think I'd have to agree that this is a very different plot for a Dai+Ken fic, partly because, while in some ways it is, in a lot of ways it isn't. If you're looking for a DaiKenSuke sappy love fic - this isn't it. I've written sappy Kensuke's, and I'm a huge DaiKen fan, *however* this fic won't have that. Their relationship in this isn't going to be a typical 'friends' or 'lovers' or 'enemies'. It's something completely different. We go back to the beginning now, and if you're squicked out by either het, or yaoi, then this isn't your kind of story. Okay? Anyone who is willing to read, I am eternally grateful for your interest, and hope this continues to live up to your expectations.  
  
A big Thank You to Allekto, Maleysin, Cheese-chan, Silfer, Lan and Nine *hugs* (You rock) for their reviews. You guys make my day!  
  
Chapter One: The Place I Feel I Should Begin.  
  
~February, 2001: Daisuke's POV~  
  
It's raining outside, heavier than usual for February. Not one of us is dressed for the weather, but then, we never are.  
  
We're holed up in my girlfriend's bedroom, and she and I have claimed the bed, although we aren't really *doing* anything on the bed. I've never liked her bed much; it's too... girly. All lace and pale pink coverlets. Not at all like my brash, quick-tempered, often bitchy girlfriend.  
  
My best friend, Ken, is sitting in front of her computer, playing around with one of her new programs, changing the tempo of our latest 'song'. He, like my girlfriend, has always been fonder of technology than Hikari and I.  
  
The four of us, Ken, Hikari, my girlfriend Miyako, and I had decided to form a band in the summer holidays before we started junior year as a relief from our boredom. I forget whose idea it was, but we met up every day of those holidays, writing the most pointless songs and setting them to music.  
  
Miyako had written an ode to her wide-screen television, and set it to a bouncy circus-like music. Ken had written a song about being a serial- kisser, and sang about kissing old women and little boys. Hikari had set the words to a nonsensical poem she'd written to piano music, and I had written a jingle about chocolate. Mine had naturally been the best, so we'd used it to decide the name of our band.  
  
I'm lazily running a hand through my girlfriends long mostly lavender hair when Hikari breaks the silence for nearly the first time since we've walked into the room,  
  
"Hey Dais, Miya, have you seen this?"  
  
I look over at the newspaper that the overly-chirpy brunette, Hikari, is holding curiously, but Miyako, my girlfriend, doesn't give anyone else has a chance to reply before she can,  
  
"They want a band?" She infuriatingly raises an eyebrow, a habit that drives me completely up the wall as I can't copy it, "You think we should try out?"  
  
Hikari shrugs, ever the pacifist, "I thought we should at least give it a go, I mean, we do want to get famous don't we?"  
  
"Of course we do!" I break in, with pure teenage enthusiasm, "Fame, money and beautiful women..."  
  
Miyako clears her throat and Ken raises an eyebrow, so I quickly amend my statement, "And beautiful men for those who aren't into women. Who *wouldn't* want to be famous?"  
  
Hikari and I exchange grins as Miyako predictably hits me over the head with the closest pillow, and Ken rolls his eyes, accustomed to our antics.  
  
"So when does it say to come in?" Ken doesn't need to speak loudly; nobody ignores Ichijouji Ken.  
  
"Tomorrow. I think we should go for it," Hikari says earnestly, smiling at the group running a hand through her shoulder-length dark brown hair.  
  
I grin, "Hell yeah. All in agreement?"  
  
Miyako shrugs, never one to show her enthusiasm, "Why not?"  
  
And Ken smiles wryly, brushing a strand of chin-length dark violet hair back behind his ear; "Sure."  
  
~~*~~  
  
We meet in Oikawa, our soon-to-be manger's, waiting room, dressed to kill. Hikari is the mildest, but even her butterfly-embroidered denim flairs and cute pink floaty top are fairly eye-catching. Ken is dressed in leather pants with a black mesh top and heavy almost feminine eye-make-up, which given his nonconformist sexual orientation isn't that surprising. My girlfriend is, true to form, dressed in a black mini-skirt, pumps, and a sexy purple halter-neck, which looks absolutely fantastic on her. I greet her with a kiss, and pull her into my lap when I sit.  
  
She obliges with a brief eye-roll directed at Hikari. "I see you're wearing your jacket."  
  
I nod; straightening the flame-embroidered jacket I made for myself a few years back and make myself comfortable on the hard plastic make-shift sofa.  
  
We have to wait for about half an hour before we're called in to Oikawa's office. He's a young mildly handsome man, who looks distinguished enough. He gestures for us to sit down and smiles across his expensive looking hardwood desk.  
  
"Good morning, I'm Oikawa, and you are?"  
  
I take the lead. "We're Sobakasu, I'm Daisuke, lead-singer, Ken's guitar, Hikari's keyboard and back-up singer and Miya's drums."  
  
Oikawa looks speculatively at us; and then looks down at a piece of paper in front of him, "I see. May I ask, Sobakasu, how much are you willing to do to be famous?"  
  
I feel an insane grin spread across my face, "Anything you ask."  
  
Ken gives me a small look then nods seriously, "We're willing to do anything..."  
  
"As long as it's not illegal," Miyako chimes in; "We want to be famous."  
  
Oikawa's eyes flicker to Hikari, who looks trapped for an endless second, before she smiles, "What they said."  
  
Oikawa smiles at us, and leans forward to shake my hand; "It was a pleasure meeting such ambitious young people. We'll call you if you make the final cut."  
  
We all smile at him as we walk out of the office, none of us noticing the thoughtful look on his face as he stares at Ken and I.  
  
~~*~~  
  
It's nearly a week later that we're gathered together again, and in my bedroom this time. I'm sitting on the bed, tuning Ken's guitar absently and resting my head back against his chest comfortably. Ken and I have always been really close friends, we grew up together and we don't really keep secrets from each other. I know we're probably closer than most guys get to other guys, but our friendship runs deep. Neither of us is shallow people, and it's never been weird for us to sit around touching. We're the same with Miyako and Hikari, because they're our best friends too.  
  
Hikari is sitting with Miyako between her legs, braiding my girlfriends hair, while they chat about the magazine Miyako is reading. It doesn't bother me that she's close to Hikari any more than it bothers her that I'm close to Ken. Ken and Hikari are both bi, and they both prefer their own sex to the opposite. Miyako and I are both straight, and rather fond of each other. My relationship with Miyako is hard to describe. Ken calls us friends with benefits, and that's probably what we are, friends who have an understanding. I love Miyako, and I guess, one day, after we've been famous, I wouldn't mind settling down with her, and maybe convincing her to have a kid or two. Pass on the Motomiya genes.  
  
"So, do you think Sobakasu is ever going to make it big?" Miyako asks, her brown eyes challenging me.  
  
"Of course we are!" I reply, daring her to disagree. I love baiting her, because when I do we end up having incredible sex to settle our disputes. Our relationship is very physical, we've both had other partners, but she was the first girl I ever slept with, and I guess that made it special for both of us.  
  
She opens her mouth to retort with her usual brash wit, but she's cut off by the telephone letting out a shrill cry. Hikari leans over and picks up the reciever.  
  
"Motomiya residence, this is Kari."  
  
There's a short pause, and Hikari makes a small noise, "Aa, yes it is."  
  
A longer pause, and Hikari's face goes white, "Now?"  
  
Another heavy pause, this one long enough that we all turn to look at her; "Of course! We'll be there in half an hour. Thank you very much. Goodbye!"  
  
We stare wide-eyed at Hikari as she hangs up and lets out a loud squeal, "Oikawa wants to sign us for a record deal! You guys we have a manager!"  
  
Miyako squeals even louder than Hikari and hugs the smaller brunette before both girls dive at us. Ken and I don't even bother to ward them off, we simply hug the girls and dance with them around the room enthusiastically. Miyako and I exchange a long very passionate kiss before parting to hug the others again. I have never been happier,  
  
"You guys, we're going to be famous!!!" I scream.  
  
Ken laughs, "How long do we have to get ready?"  
  
Hikari squeaks, "Shit! We have to leave now!"  
  
In one overly-excited mass we run to catch the bus so that we'll make it to Oikawa's office in time, thankful that for once, the sky is clear and we won't have to worry about getting caught in the rain.  
  
~~*~~  
  
Oikawa smiles and extends his hand as we walk in, "So good to see you again, my ambitious young friends. I do hope you are all well?"  
  
I nod answering for the group, "Yeah, we're cool."  
  
"Ah very good. Please sit down," His extended hand gestures to the hard backed chairs provided and we collapse into the seats, some more gracefully than others.  
  
"So, what did you want to see us about?" I ask curiously.  
  
He raises his chin and smiles at me as if I'm a young child he's accommodating, "I called you in to make sure you were really the band I was looking for. You want to be famous? You're willing to do anything?"  
  
Miyako stands, putting a hand on my shoulder, "Within reason. We're not going to exchange sexual favours for fame, or kill people."  
  
He laughs, "You have spunk girl. Are you willing to kiss..." His eyes fall on Hikari, "her? To be famous?"  
  
Miyako snorts, and pecks Hikari on the cheek, before turning back, "I highly doubt that kissing Hikari will make anyone famous."  
  
"I meant a proper kiss, lips, tongue, the whole deal."  
  
Hikari's brow furrows, "Daisuke?"  
  
I shrug, "I'm okay with it if you guys are."  
  
Hikari leans over and kisses Miyako, it's a proper kiss, complete with tongue, but there's no passion. Neither of them can pretend to feel something they don't.  
  
Oikawa doesn't even look fazed, "No, you don't have it. You two boys, I want to see you kiss each other."  
  
"What?" Ken utters staring at Oikawa as if he's something that's crawled out of the gutter.  
  
"I want you," He points to me, "to kiss him. Now."  
  
"N-no FUCKING way! Y-you want me to kiss KEN?!" I splutter wide-eyed, unable to believe what I'm hearing. What sort of sick pervert is this guy? "What the fuck sort of band do you think we are?" I hiss disgustedly. I'm not homophobic, I don't have anything against gay people, what they do is their own business, and I'm not overly bothered by being hit on by a guy, but the idea of making out with my male best friend sickens me  
  
"I thought," Oikawa drawls slowly, "that you were a band who wanted to be famous. Obviously I was wrong."  
  
I stare at him in a mixture of fierce determination and repulsion, before I turn to my best friend, "Let's just get this over with."  
  
Ken turns from glaring at Oikawa, "Are you sure Dais?"  
  
"Fucking oath I'm sure. We want to be famous don't we?" I snarl.  
  
Ken nods, a faint blush covering his cheeks, "Close your eyes Dais, and just relax."  
  
I follow his instructions, and try not to tense when he seals his lips over mine. I make an effort to pretend it's Miyako I'm kissing, or some other pretty girl, but Ken doesn't kiss in the same way as any other girl I've kissed. There's something fundamentally different... but he *is* a damned good kisser. He slides his tongue into my mouth eliciting a groan. I refuse to think about what I'm doing.  
  
The kiss itself isn't nauseatingly bad, but when I pull back and open my eyes, I'm still mildly disgusted, because Ken's still a guy, and no matter how well he kisses, I'm still straight.  
  
Oikawa smiles at us, a slightly oily not-quite-nice smile, but a smile nevertheless. "I must say I'm impressed boys. You're exactly what I've been looking for... Well, if you and you," He leers at Ken and I, "Are willing to repeat that kiss on stage, and make it more realistic. Well?"  
  
"You're not serious?" Hikari asks softly, her red-brown eyes gleaming.  
  
"Of course I am," Oikawa tells her smiling, "This is my dream, and if you want to be famous, you'll do as I ask."  
  
Miyako rests a hand on my arm, "Hey, it's up to you guys. Hika and I won't blame you if you don't want to make out with Ken on stage. If it was us who had to make-out to be famous, we'd say no."  
  
I turn to look at Ken, who shrugs, "Look Dai, your decision, kissing a guy is natural to me, even if he is my best friend. If you don't want to do it, we'll all understand. It's your call oh fearless leader."  
  
I look around the room. Hikari looks unsure, scared almost. Miyako looks protective, as if Oikawa's got her back up somehow. Ken looks blank, and Oikawa looks oily.  
  
I sigh and hold out my hand, "Alright, we're in."  
  
Oikawa grins, all oiliness gone, "You're not going to regret this. What did you say the name of your band was again?"  
  
"Sobakasu," I tell him, caught up in the excitement.  
  
"Too childish. From now on you guys are "Forbidden", I'm going to need you and Ken, was it?" I nod, "To practise kissing. Learn how to be lovers. That's going to be your gimmick up on stage."  
  
I force a smile, "Okay. We'll try."  
  
"Do better than try. I don't care how long it takes, you two have to be natural up on stage, none of this "macho, I can't kiss a guy crap"."  
  
Ken and I nod together, and Oikawa smiles, "Right then, I'll see you all bright and early tomorrow morning at the studio."  
  
I sling my arm around Miyako as we're leaving and Oikawa clears his throat, "Daisuke, no huggy-kissy with girls in public. If you want to be famous you've got to play the part."  
  
I drop my arm down and taking in a deep breath thread an arm around Ken's waist.  
  
"Good boy."  
  
Yeah. Great.  
  
Authors Notes: That's chapter one finished, as I warned, het and 'yaoi'. For those of you who are disappointed, there won't be too much more Daiyako, it's going to go bye-bye, but that doesn't mean this is going to be a sappy DaiKenSuke. I figure I'm giving fair warning here.  
  
Anyway, if you've read, please review! Thank you! 


	3. Chapter Two: I'm All Mixed Up

Title: Make-Believe Lovers  
  
Author: FireDemon  
  
E-mail: Ken_Dai_Love@hotmail.com  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Category: AU. Band Fic.  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, Yaoi. Language.  
  
Summary: AU. Ken and Daisuke are best friends with a gimmick that gets out of control, when they shoot to stardom. Sometimes fame and money doesn't bring happiness. **Shounen ai-ish**.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, it belongs to a lot of people, Toei, Fox Kids and. I forget the rest, let's just say my name isn't on the list. The idea and the badly written song, however, are all mine.  
  
I would very much like to thank Nine (I apologise for the Daiyako, but it's vital to the plot), BlackSpark, UnluckyBlueGoddess, and Angel Wings. I appreciate the compliments, and any comments. I just hope that the very odd mix of yaoi and het doesn't put people off.  
  
I revised this chapter - spelling and grammar. Please don't ask what I was on when I wrote it, I think I need to stop writing at 1 and 2am in the morning when I have school. Hope it's better now.  
  
Chapter Two: I'm All Mixed Up  
  
~March, 2001: Daisuke's POV~  
  
It's dark, and only the dimly flickering light of a single street lamp lights the alleyway next to the studio we're recording our first music video in. Ken is leaning against the wall next to the door to our dressing rooms, his customary cigarette between his lips. He turns as I walk out, wordlessly offering me a drag as he exhales a cloud of smoke.  
  
I dimly wonder when he started smoking, but I don't ask. The slightly bitter taste of the cigarette fills my mouth as I inhale and pass it back to him. He smirks, and takes another drag.  
  
We stand next to each other in silence, until he flicks the but of his cigarette to the ground. It leaves a trail of fading sparks, and I step forward to crush it beneath my foot. The burning orange sparks disappear.  
  
Ken finally speaks, "So what's up Daisuke, my love?"  
  
"Oikawa sent me to get you. He wants us to practise "kissing" in our dressing room." I gaze at my best friend from under half-lowered lashes, trying to catch his reaction.  
  
He gives a snort of laughter, and pulls me close, "And what do you think Daisu, shall we practise?"  
  
I meet his eyes, and swear as I recognise the slightly glazed look he's wearing, "Fucking asshole. You fucking dick, Ken you dipshit, you've been drinking!"  
  
He tilts my head up and kisses me roughly, his hands wandering over my body, "What do you think? Would Oikawa like to see this?"  
  
I shove him away; "We're making a music video in less than an hour, what the fuck is wrong with you Ken?"  
  
"Don't be like this, sweet cheeks, don't you love me?" Ken buries his face in my neck, nipping at it teasingly.  
  
I pull away, and storm back into the building, "You're a fucking dickhead Ken!"  
  
"I love you too," He slurs drunkenly, slumping back against the building.  
  
I snarl and snatch up the half-full bottle of tequila Ken left in our dressing room, and take a swig without even bothering to find a cup. It burns my throat, and I nearly gag. I'm not really a tequila kind of guy, but right now, I have a fucking irresistible urge to get smashed.  
  
I turn as Hikari and Miyako walk into the dressing room, both dressed in only their jeans and bra's, talking about something in low voices. They stop talking when they see me, but Miyako doesn't bother to acknowledge my presence in any other way.  
  
"Where's Ken?" Hikari asks.  
  
I snort, "Outside, off his face. Care for a drink ladies?"  
  
Miyako finally reacts to my presence, snatching the bottle out of my hand and slaps me, hard, "Don't you dare fucking pull this act Daisuke. You want to be famous? Then you fucking have to work! We're all doing this for you!"  
  
"Oh shut the fuck up Miyako!" I snarl, "You don't have to practise kissing Ken, you've got it easy. Don't you dare come in here and bitch at me!"  
  
Ken finally staggers through the doorway, under the brighter lights of the dressing room I can see that his eyes are red from the drink, and heavily shadowed. He looks like shit. "Hey ladies, Daisu-koi..."  
  
Miyako scowls, "I'm going to get Oikawa, don't fucking leave this room. Either of you!"  
  
We watch her leave, and Ken drapes an arm over my shoulder, "Come on, let's practise, impress old Oikawa when he comes to visit. We gonna get famous, right Dai-dai?"  
  
I stare at him through narrowed eyes, "Fine. But you need to sober up first."  
  
Hikari hands him a coffee, although I'm not sure where she got it from, and helps him to sit on the bed, "Right Ken-ken, drink up."  
  
Ken empties the entire cup within seconds and stands, "I need a cigarette."  
  
Hikari sighs, obviously more familiar with Ken's bad habit then I had been, "Dais, you take him out the back, and come in as soon as he's finished the cigarette."  
  
We walk out the back together, and Ken lights up another cigarette, his violet eyes fixed coldly on the other side of the alleyway.  
  
I pluck the cigarette out of his fingers after his second drag, and inhale it deeply without asking permission. I think he's going to convince me to pick up smoking without having to even suggest it.  
  
Ken steals it back, then exhales, "Dai-dai, do you really want to do this? You don't like kissing me at all. Maybe we should just call this off."  
  
I shake my head, not looking at his face, "Nah, it's cool man. I can just pretend like you're Miya. It doesn't bother me Ken-ken, I'm just straight, that's all."  
  
"Oh." Ken's voice is strangely subdued, but I don't think anything of it, because I'm selfish, and I care more about being famous then I do about the inevitability of this gimmick tearing my relationship with my three best friends to shreds. He places the cigarette between his lips again.  
  
I appropriate the cigarette from it's resting place and finish it, crushing the butt against the wall behind me, before dropping it, "Head back in now?"  
  
"Wait," Ken's voice holds a strange note I don't quite recognise, and then I find myself pinned to the wall as his lips close over mine.  
  
It's not like the first time, I guess I've gotten used to the way he kisses. His style, it's good, hell, it's very good, but kissing a boy is only like kissing a girl until you get close enough to notice the difference - and the biggest difference is poking into my thigh.  
  
I try to kiss back, because we don't practise anywhere near as much as Oikawa instructed us too. In fact most of our dressing-room practises degenerate into Miyako and I making out while Ken watches.  
  
It's fun sometimes, being with both of them. I remember one time when Ken and I were on the bed, Ken tickling me, asking me teasingly how I liked to be touched Miyako had seen us. She'd smirked and shown Ken exactly how I liked to be touched. They'd had me writhing in pleasure within moments.  
  
I find myself responding almost positively to the kiss, but I'm not thinking about Ken, I'm kissing him back as if he were Miyako. Our hands are all over each other, and I moan into his mouth,  
  
"Mm... Miya-chan..."  
  
Ken pulls back, a flash of something crossing his face before he jerks his head to the doorway behind us, "Let's head back in, eh Dais?"  
  
I can feel that my cheeks are flushed from the kissing, so I nod hastily and precede him through the doorway.  
  
Oikawa's in the dressing room when we walk in, and he looks... very pissed off, "Where the fuck have you two been? I need my two stars in top shape, not off drinking tequila and smoking cigarettes!" He tosses the half full bottle of tequila against the wall of our dressing room irritably.  
  
Ken scowls, "We were practising making out - that is what you wanted us to do isn't it?"  
  
Oikawa's anger simmers down, "I'm taking a huge gamble on you, don't you dare fuck this up for me!"  
  
I shrug, "Yeah, whatever. Are we filming now?"  
  
"Of course. You two girls need to get dressed; I want you on the set, butterfly kisses, shy holding hands. You two haven't been together long, but you think it's love. You're just scared of what other people will think. Daisuke, you're confident, in love, Ken you're longing for him, but at the same time scared."  
  
We follow Oikawa out to the set, the first of which is a playground out the back of the building, the lights are bright, illuminating the darkened playground, and Miyako and Hikari are instructed to shyly exchange kisses.  
  
He gets sick of them quicker than expected, and Ken and I walk out to take their place on the playground, lightly clasping our hands together.  
  
"Very good. Daisuke, you're the pursuer, Ken's the sweet innocent virgin. Convince him that your love is pure!"  
  
"Are we supposed to be singing the song?" I ask. The song in question is one that Oikawa... altered. Originally, ironic though this is, I wrote it for Miyako. The tune at least. Oikawa gave us the words, but Hikari changed a few and made the song sweeter, more poetic.  
  
"We'll probably use the copy we recorded, but if you want to sing the words to each other, as an ode, we can use that too."  
  
I nod, and turn to Ken, as Oikawa presses play on the CD player which has our demo single.  
  
Ken smiles at me, and I smile back.  
  
"And, action!" Oikawa's voice rings somewhere behind me, and I close my eyes and pretend that Ken is Miyako and I'm trying to convince her that I'm head over heels in love with her.  
  
Without even thinking about it I draw his knuckles to my lips, gently kissing both hands, and then his wrists, before opening my mouth to sing along with the opening chorus,  
  
"Two hearts, they beat in time... Two eyes, they won't meet mine."  
  
Ken's fingers come up to trace my lips and face delicately as he takes the next two lines almost instinctively,  
  
"Two lips so soft and sweet... One kiss means everything."  
  
"One kiss means everything..." I echo his line, and judging the time to be right from his half-glazed eyes, I kiss him, with everything I have. He melts in my arms, returning the kiss with fervour.  
  
"Is this love I think I feel? Or is it just a dream?" I notice the soft almost hopeful tone, and react as if the violet eyes I'm gazing into belong to some pretty girl, and draw Ken into my arms.  
  
"If you truly feel for me, do not ignore my plea." His face is buried in the crook of my neck, and he kisses a trail to my ear, before suckling at my earlobe. I get the feeling that he's had a lot of experience with this.  
  
We sing the chorus the same way as before, kissing, and "faking a love- fest" as it were, making sure that our angles are perfect for the camera.  
  
"Tell me truly, tell me now..." Ken's voice is almost a whisper, overlain in my head with Miyako's, and I arch against him, kissing his throat.  
  
"Two hearts, they beat in time... Two eyes, they won't meet mine."  
  
He gives as good as he gets, his hands roaming more freely than in our alleyway kiss, "Two lips so soft and sweet... One kiss means everything."  
  
I can't resist, I take his lips, exploring every inch of his mouth with a fervour I've never felt before, and I practically gasp out my last line,  
  
"One kiss means everything..."  
  
His moist lips leave my collarbone and return to mine. I nibble on his soft lower lip; one of my hands is caressing the plain of his stomach and hips while the other grips at his hair.  
  
We moan together; but I don't hear him, my eyes are still closed, and when I kiss my way up to his ear, it's not him I'm thinking of. I don't even notice when I whisper, "Oh God, Miyako!"  
  
He pulls away just as the camera stops rolling, and I open my eyes to see Miyako and Hikari staring at us wide-eyed.  
  
Ken runs his hands back through his shoulder-length blue-black hair, separating the strands with a cool collected expression as he gazes at me through unreadable eyes, making light of the situation, "It's Ken, not Miyako. Remember Daisuke?"  
  
I stare at him for a few seconds, then blush; "Oh shit. Sorry Ken - I got a little caught up in my daydream."  
  
Ken smirks, "I noticed. Miya-chan you might want to give your boyfriend a hand," His eyes flicker down to look pointedly at my arousal, "Or a mouth. I think he was picturing you naked, because he was moaning your name."  
  
Miyako looks caught between amusement and relief, peppered with annoyance, but she smiles at me nevertheless, "I was wondering why you were getting so into it."  
  
I snort, "I'm secure in my sexuality thank you very much, and Ken isn't going to change that just because he's damned good at what he does."  
  
Miyako rolls her eyes, "I know Mr. Straight-and-Narrow. Wanna head back to the dressing rooms?"  
  
I nod, "Yeah, sure."  
  
"Daisuke, don't go anywhere. We need you and Ken to hang around. The girls can leave but you two aren't finished yet."  
  
Miyako laughs, "Aw, sorry Dai-kun. Looks like you're stuck here. Kari-chan and I will order some Chinese or something, and you and Ken can have some when you get home."  
  
I nod and lean in to kiss her, but when Oikawa clears his throat she turns and the kiss lands platonically on her flushed cheek. "Bye Daisu."  
  
I nod, "Bye Miya."  
  
I watch as she and Kari leave, and return to Ken, slipping an arm around his shoulder comfortably, trying to get into the habit.  
  
Oikawa smiles greasily at us, "Now boys, I want your input on the clip. You are the most important members of "Forbidden" after all."  
  
The light reflected from the computer screen gleams off Kens tiny hooped earing and catches my attention. I always have been a sucker for shiny, pretty things.  
  
I guess fame is one of them.  
  
Authors Notes: Meh... missed the first 20 minutes of Queer as Folk thanks to this chapter *glares* I lost track of time. And it was a damn good episode too, Justin told the jock who he'd jerked off where to go. So hot - and it had a Justin/Brian sex scene. Ooh yeah.  
  
I know I said Daiyako was going to go bye-bye, but it's still kind of important. Daisuke *is* straight, and he *does* have feelings for Miyako at this point. By chapter 5, you have my promise that the Daiyako will be irreparably destroyed, which may or may not be a bad thing. Myself, I don't have a problem with the pairing. I couldn't write Kenyako, Kenkari or Daikari, so Daiyako's it. 


	4. Chapter Three: Have We Crossed The Line?

Title: Make-Believe Lovers  
  
Author: FireDemon  
  
E-mail: Ken_Dai_Love@hotmail.com  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Category: AU. Band Fic.  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, Yaoi. Heavy shoujo-ai, bordering on Yuri.  
  
Summary: AU. Ken and Daisuke are best friends with a gimmick that gets out of control, when they shoot to stardom. Sometimes fame and money doesn't bring happiness. **Shounen ai-ish**.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, it belongs to a lot of people, Toei, Fox Kids and. I forget the rest, let's just say my name isn't on the list. The idea and the badly written song, however, are all mine.  
  
Authors Notes: Watch out for the change in POV this chapter, this one shows more of Daisuke and Ken's developing relationship - from an outsiders POV. Can't think of anything to say. *Luffs Hikari-chan*  
  
Thank you VERY much to, for reviewing. I adore and worship you guys - It means the world to me that you read and review this!  
  
Chapter Three: Have We Crossed The Line?  
  
~April, 2001: Hikari's POV~  
  
My fingers toy with my leather braided friendship bracelet as I watch my friends through lidded eyes. It's late, and we're writing a song as a group, in the hopes that Oikawa will let us publish some of our own music.  
  
Miyako's resting between Daisuke's legs, her head on his chest as she talks. Ken's perched next to them; his head on Daisuke's shoulder as he laces his fingers with Daisuke's thoughtlessly.  
  
He and Daisuke have got to the point where these thoughtless gestures of affection are routine. There was always a possibility of something more in their relationship, but without Oikawa Daisuke wouldn't return the little gestures of affection. He wouldn't kiss back like he does.  
  
He wouldn't stupidly destroy the relationship between his girlfriend and his best friend. He wouldn't destroy his own perception of reality.  
  
I suppose I've always been the outsider of our group - the quiet one. I've never been the type of girl that people pay a lot of attention to. Daisuke had a crush on me when we were perhaps 11 or 12, but he outgrew it. He was the closest thing I ever had to a boyfriend.  
  
I love him, Miya and Ken more than anyone, with the possible exception of my brother and my parents. I don't want them to lose what they have together... what we all have together, but I know that this... thing... is going to strain our friendship. I didn't agree with this in the first place. It's okay for me and Miyako, we don't have to play a part 24/7, but it's messing with the boys.  
  
I'm scared that Ken has fooled himself into thinking he's in love with Daisuke. And I know that it never would have happened if Daisuke hadn't kissed him back. I'm afraid that Daisuke's going to fool himself too, and no matter how much he loves Ken, he's not, and never will be 'in-love' with Ken.  
  
I have always believed love is a beautiful thing, it knows no boundaries, it's the best thing that can happen to anyone, and the worst. However, fooling yourself, making yourself believe you're in love with someone you're not attracted to - that's wrong. Regardless of whether you're gay pretending to be attracted to girls or straight pretending to be attracted to guys.  
  
It's stupid, heartbreaking, and it's the one line we should have known better than to cross.  
  
"Okay, so what do we want to call it?" Miyako asks, her gold-brown eyes playful.  
  
"Little Boy. Little Girl." My eyes meet Miyako's, and she smiles.  
  
"Alright."  
  
I've always been able to get Miyako agree to almost anything without an argument, we've been best friends since forever, and if I'm completely honest with myself, she's the main reason I don't have a girlfriend.  
  
Not because I'm in love with her, but because every prospective girlfriend is compared to her, and I have yet to find a girl who can measure up. She could never date me - she'd hate it. Almost as much as she'd detest dating Ken.  
  
Saccharine relationships have never been her thing, I suppose that's my angle to handle.  
  
Miyako was the first person I ever "came out" to. I told her I was bi, and that I by far preferred girls, and she, well, she bit her lip and asked me if I was in-love with her.  
  
I told her no and she smiled and hugged me. She's never been homophobic, but I sometimes wonder, if I had have said yes, what she would have done.  
  
I don't think she would have been able to break my heart. My eyes return to Ken and Daisuke, but I think Daisuke could break Kens, without even realising it.  
  
Miyako clears her throat, and sings the lines, her soft throaty voice filling the room.  
  
"Little boy sitting on a playground swing, Wondering why he's all alone tonight. Little girl crying underneath the slide, Wondering why Mummy and Daddy have to fight.  
  
And you're a big boy now, And boys don't cry. And you're a little lady now, And you mustn't be shy.  
  
Well he's 10 years old, and on the playground swing, He's trying to hide from everyone who caused him pain. She watches him from faraway, eyes of crimson brown, Hair in dripping pigtails as she sits there in the rain.  
  
And you're a big boy now, And boys don't cry. And you're a little lady now, And you mustn't be shy.  
  
And she's 12 years old, and as pretty as can be, But she's starting to doubt who she really is. He watches her, and without a thought, Offers his friendship, along with a promise.  
  
And you're a big boy now, And boys don't cry. And you're a little lady now, And you mustn't be shy.  
  
And they're all grown up, Feeling hollow and lost, Yet they cling to each other, Because love has a high cost.  
  
And you're a big boy now, And boys don't cry. And you're a little lady now, And you mustn't be shy.  
  
No you mustn't cry honey, And you don't dare be shy."  
  
There are a few minutes of silence as the group mulls over the song, and then I smile my customary half-smile, "I like it. It tells our story, without actually giving anything away."  
  
"Yeah, you and Miya did a great job of writing the tune," Daisuke compliments me.  
  
"Mm, I think it needs a slightly stronger bass-line, but I really like it." Ken smiles at Miyako, and she smiles back.  
  
Ken and Miya have always been good friends, because, well, no offence to Dai-Dai, but he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and they both thrive on highly intelligent conversation. I don't consider myself stupid, but those two can make me feel that way, when they start talking about these obscure computer programs that they're into.  
  
"Alright, we fix the bass-line then we give Oikawa a demo tape. All in agreement?" Miyako's brash voice cuts through my thoughts like a hot knife through butter, and I nod.  
  
"Sounds like a plan."  
  
Daisuke laughs, "Aye-aye capt'n."  
  
"Let's do it," Ken says softly, eyes gleaming.  
  
~~*~~  
  
"Oikawa, we ah... we've written a new song. We wanted you to listen to it, and, y'know..." Daisuke is nervous, but he's beaming at the same time. We're arrayed behind him, trying to be supportive, yet unobtrusive.  
  
I don't think it's working.  
  
Oikawa smiles at us, and accepts the tape. I always got the feeling, when we gave him our first demo tape to listen to while we were waiting for our interview, that he couldn't have cared less whether we could sing or not. His oily, irritated expression now does nothing to soothe my suspicions.  
  
He slides the tape into the tape player he keeps in his office, probably for this sole purpose, and listens with the fakest look of interest I have ever seen, plastered all over his sleazy handsome face.  
  
I never liked Oikawa, and I have never trusted him. I guess he... rubs me the wrong way or something. In hindsight we should never have accepted his offer - we aren't the kind of band to look pretty and sing other peoples songs, and even if my band mates can't see it, that's what he wants us to be.  
  
"Wonderful, it's... heartwrenching kids, I could really feel the emotion you must have put into it."  
  
Daisuke's face lights up, his eyes glowing, and his very posture radiates how flattered he is - Daisuke couldn't hide an emotion if you paid him. Miyako is more subtle, but she blushes lightly, pleased with the praise, and even Ken's mouth quirks into what passes for a smile from him.  
  
"I really wish we could do something with it, but it wouldn't be appreciated. You have to cater to your audience - maybe when you guys are famous you can have more of a say when it comes to song writing."  
  
My three best friends stare at our manager in incomprehension, Daisuke quite obviously confused and the others angry at the restrictions he's placing on them.  
  
"We're not allowed to write our own songs?" Miyako's voice is cold, dripping with cynicism.  
  
Oikawa turns to her with his smarmy smile, and if I didn't know better, I would suspect he was purposefully baiting her, "It's... unnecessary. You're just there to look pretty, and make people sit up and pay attention."  
  
I step forward, sliding my arms around Miyako's waist, to stop her from yelling back, and Ken, coldly polite, speaks for our little group, "We understand, Oikawa. Thank you for your time."  
  
He smiles back, and I hate him all the more, "Not a problem kids. I'll see you all tonight at 5."  
  
We nod and file out, Daisuke and Ken holding hands as they always do when we visit Oikawa, and Miyako still trapped within the curve of my arm. He makes this act so damned sordid - never before have I been ashamed of the fact that I'm attracted to other girls. I wonder if Ken ever feels dirty; like the way I'm feeling right now?  
  
~~*~~  
  
There are two uncomfortable looking sofas, angled so that the host of whichever TV talk show we're being interviewed by can speak to us and look at the cameras at the same time, and we can too.  
  
Ken and Daisuke are directed towards one of the new-age looking couches by an attractive looking young woman, who appears to be in her mid 20's, carrying a clipboard. My eyes track her progress across the room, she's gorgeous, with cropped ginger hair, pale shoulders, bared by her off the shoulder shirt, a perfect pert little ass, and long shapely legs. Definitely my type of woman.  
  
I vaguely hear Oikawa talking to us, and tune back in just in time to hear him berate Miyako, "You're not ready to face your public yet - and I'm not willing to let you ruin this. You don't say a word; you just sit there, look pretty, and let your bitch speak for you. She's going to be the topper in this relationship - I don't want you getting any funny ideas, or announcing that you're not a lesbian to save face. Starting from now you don't say a word."  
  
Miyako opens her mouth to reply but Oikawa shakes his head, and she closes it, eyes blazing angrily. I'm angry too - how dare he try to control my beautiful free-spirited best friend in such a way?  
  
Miyako's lips twist into a grimace, and she entwines our fingers and tugs me towards the couch, pulling me down into her lap in a gesture so unpractised it's uncomfortable. Miyako's never played a dominant or male role in a relationship - not that I think lesbian relationships should have a "male" and "female" partner. And pulling someone down so that they're sitting comfortably in your lap isn't easy to achieve without practise, particularly not if you're used to being the one sitting in the lap.  
  
I shift, trying to get comfortable without making it look like I'm trying to get comfortable, and finally manage to settle into the crook of Miyako's lap, my arms twining around her neck in an imitation of a loving embrace.  
  
Our valiant interviewer smiles charmingly at us, his eyes lingering on Miyako and I just slightly too long, and slightly too interestedly, before he turn back to the camera. The little light switches on and the man, Mike, launches into the traditional welcoming/explaining speech for the viewers, before he introduces us, as the controversial homosexual band, Forbidden. And then the questions begin, and to Oikawa's dismay, I'm sure, they're questions that actually require forethought, and intuition to answer.  
  
"Do you think it's right that you four can make music videos which flaunt your deviation, when so many disagree with who and what you are?"  
  
My first reaction is ouch, and my second is no. So I don't open my mouth to answer, and I look towards Ken, hoping he'll beat Daisuke to the punch. He does, and he even manages to force a smile.  
  
"Do you think it's right that you can flaunt your heterosexuality on TV, in front of Daisuke and I when it obviously disagrees with us?"  
  
The interviewer laughs charmingly, "A very good point. So, may I ask, do you always speak for the group, Ken, is it?"  
  
Ken shifts, resting a hand of Daisuke's knee calmingly, "Not really, but as your comment was really quite cutting, I thought it was best that I answered it. It's in my nature to try and protect those I love."  
  
"Of course. I'm going to have to ask the question that I know everyone's dying to know, since your band first came out. This, gimmick, is it for real, or are you four just straight kids trying to make it big."  
  
Daisuke answers before I can, and I'm both relieved and alarmed, "We're for real. We love this, because of all the girls - and boys - who are gonna look up to us, and see that it's alright to be themselves. Yeah, we're different, but that's what makes us real. We bring it, y'know."  
  
I can see Oikawa cringe, and it's easy to guess why, Daisuke lacks both tact and intuition, but he makes up for that in charisma. Mike turns to look at me and Miyako, and I guess I'm his next target.  
  
"So, can I ask, what drew a pair of beautiful girls like you together? How did you meet? Through the band or in some other manner?" I can hear in his voice what he's implying, and I rise above it, deciding to stay as truthful as I can.  
  
"Miyako and I were best friends for a very long time, and we were very close. When I was in about 9th grade I realised that, unlike the other girls in our class, we didn't seem to be interested in boys, and I also realised, in my case, it was because I was a lesbian. I confessed to Miyako, because I tell her everything, and she asked, in her confusion, if that meant that I found her attractive. I did, and I blushingly confessed, at which point she told me that she also was physically attracted to me. She wondered if that made her a lesbian, and I suggested we try a relationship, and she agreed. We haven't looked back since - I can't imagine ever loving anyone as much as I love Miyako."  
  
Mike, the interviewer, looks disappointed at the lack of smut, but he's hard-pressed to find any fault in my story, and I know it will likely hold up under pressure, as it's based very firmly in fact. He turns to the boys instead, "I expect your story is much the same?"  
  
Daisuke shakes his head, "No way. Ken and I-"  
  
Ken looks horrified and claps a hand over Daisuke's mouth, which distracts everyone from the fact that Miyako and I are also looking at Daisuke in shock.  
  
Ken covers his ass with a brilliant save, "He asked how we got together, love, not how much more active our sex life is. The truth is, Dai and I had a rough time getting together. Dais was actually in denial for a long time, and I kinda... pined for him while he seemed the perfect straight guy, aside from grabbing guys asses in his soccer and football games. It wasn't until I actually caught his fantasising about me - with his hands down his pants - that I realised I had a chance."  
  
Daisuke breaks in, never one to let another keep the limelight, and continues, thankfully keeping to Ken's story, "It was actually like he knew what my fantasy was, cos he walked in, pushed me down on the bed, and climbed on top of me, rubbing himself all over me. I almost thought I was dreaming with my eyes open, and then, yeah we made out, and one thing led to another. The next day I was gay."  
  
I try not to gape at him, as that would give him away, but his story is so ridiculous that one could almost believe it. Mike seems ready to move onto the next topic, and he directs it back at us.  
  
"People think lesbians have an easier time than gays, would you agree ladies?"  
  
"In some ways, perhaps, I would. It's probably easier to come out as a lesbian, because girls are less likely to be prejudiced than guys, and very few guys will actually go out of their way to beat a lesbian to a pulp. I have known some to be raped, but generally most guys accept it. Lesbians are, however, more likely to get unwanted propositions for men who are interested in threesomes."  
  
"And what's your take boys? Did you find it hard to come out as gay?"  
  
"Not really," Daisuke says with a broad grin, "I mean, if you're yourself, people will accept you. I was just me, only, well, I liked to have sex with people who weren't girls. Anyway, it meant more men got to gaze upon the sexiness of Motomiya and drool. Dude, it's just a matter of saying two little words: I'm gay."  
  
Ken pinches Daisuke's thigh and cuts in, "I disagree. Some people will accept you, yeah, but there are other things that are hard about it. I mean, disappointing your parents, your friends, yourself. Unlike Daisuke, I wanted -- want kids. Being gay was like God saying, 'you're abnormal and I deny you the right to procreate'. There were people at school too, who wouldn't bother Dai because he's so confident, but who had an easy target when it came to me. It's better being out in the open, but it takes courage, and if that doesn't come naturally, then yeah, it's hard."  
  
"Oh," Mike smiles, "I guess us straight boys never think about things like that. Personally I can't get past the idea of having someone shove something up there - I mean it's an exit hole, not an entryway."  
  
Ken laughs easily, "Oh, it... grows on you. When you love someone and want to be close to them, things like that... cease to matter."  
  
Mike laughs in return, and I wince, unable to shake the feeling that we're all lying. Ken's statement was general, yes, but Daisuke is so clueless, and Ken is being exploited so badly, both his knowledge and his sexuality, and Ken is acting like he doesn't notice. Is it because of Daisuke? I've noticed everyone in our little band has something of a weakness when it comes to Daisuke.  
  
One of the cameramen yells out that it's time for the short commercial break and I stand, releasing Miyako, so that I can get the circulation back into my limbs.  
  
"I'm just going to use the bathroom, alright?" I ask, my eyes seeking out Miyako's. She smiles and nods, giving her permission, and I leave the set heading towards the bathroom I noticed earlier.  
  
"Hey," A warm voice greets me as I walk into the bathroom. The ginger haired assistant I'd noticed earlier smiles at me, and turns, setting her compact on the counter beside the sink.  
  
"Hey yourself," I smile in return, my eyes slipping, to her plump kissable lips and I feel myself growing warm in response, a liquid feeling, like heat settling below my abdomen filling me.  
  
"Hikari, right? I really admire your music. I like that you're... out there. Not a lot of lesbians would have the guts to be so open about who they are. I know I wouldn't."  
  
That takes me by surprise, and I gaze into her chocolaty eyes adoringly, "But you're beautiful. You deserve to be worshipped on a stage."  
  
The woman shakes her head, flushing; "I'm not. Besides, my mother would disown me. She's all I have left... if I disappointed her... what would I have left?"  
  
"If she doesn't love you for who you are... nobody should have to pretend to be someone they're not..." I step forward to clasp her hands and she smiles sadly.  
  
"I know, it tears you apart, when you pretend to be something that you're not. It's been so painful, being who she wants me to be..."  
  
I can't help it, like I'm possessed I lean up and capture her lips. She kisses back, and it's like nothing I've ever felt before. This beautiful, talented amazing woman is kissing me as if she's addicted. And for the first time in my life, I don't feel the need to compare her to my best friend.  
  
"I'm Sora," She whispers against my lips, and then she slips her fingers under my shirt.  
  
"I know this is utterly ridiculous, but I think I could fall in love with you Sora... are you single?" I manage to ask, even though my hands are caressing her perfect luscious legs.  
  
"Very. What about your girlfriend?"  
  
"She doesn't love me. She's in love with someone else. She's my best friend. She'll want me to be happy." The statements are gasped out as Sora kneads my breasts, and sucks at my neck hard enough to leave a mark.  
  
"Good. I think maybe I could love you too. You'd be there for me, I could rely on you, couldn't I?"  
  
"You could rely on me," I whisper, "Are you busy this Saturday?"  
  
She shakes her head, snuggling close, and I smile.  
  
"Would you do me the honour of accompanying me on a date then. I would be prepared to meet your mother, if you need. I'll be there for you."  
  
"I would love to." Sora returns, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips.  
  
~~*~~  
  
I return to the set in time to hear Mike, who's taken a seat next to my best friend in my absence, make a pass at Miyako. Her brown eyes are blazing furiously, and she looks nervous. Oikawa's shaking his head warningly, and Miyako looks trapped. I know how she feels, but before I can intervene, Daisuke does, furious that someone would make a move on his girlfriend in front of him.  
  
"You pig, don't you lay a finger on-" Daisuke's tirade is cut off by Ken, who, like Daisuke, is now standing. He pulls the red-haired boy back into his arms and glares at Oikawa.  
  
"Miyako was abused and she has difficulty talking to men. We would appreciate it if you left her alone. While she has had therapy, the kind of treatment you were giving her alarms her. It's quite obvious she is a lesbian, so talking about the size of your dick is more likely to make Daisuke and I ask you for a threesome, than Miyako and Hikari." Ken's voice is furious, but cold, and I am eternally grateful, despite the fact that the lie makes something inside me want to curl up and die. It's plausible, and for some reason - that makes it worse. I sit down next to Miyako and cuddle into her protectively, and to my surprise, she kisses me, on the lips, just in time for the camera to catch the move. I assume it's for Mike's benefit, but the kiss is painful. After kissing Sora, kissing Miyako seems so meaningless.  
  
Answering the rest of Mike's questions, about where we're planning to go with out music, and who our influences doesn't seem to take any effort on my part, and even when he returns to the sexuality issue, I give vapid answers. Exploiting my sexuality suddenly seems to be a worse crime than it was in the beginning, and my mind keeps returning to Sora. I feel so cheap, lying about who I really am, when Sora, and so many other girls, are looking up to me. I can't do it.  
  
I smile and respond politely when Mike thanks us for being on the show, and I file out with the others, but all I can think of is Oikawa's reaction when I quit. Was the contract we all signed legally binding, or can I leave without destroying the band?  
  
~~*~~  
  
"I can't do this - exploit myself like this I mean." I stare firmly at Oikawa, my stance confidant. He raises an eyebrow.  
  
"You can't? You didn't seem to have a problem with it earlier."  
  
I shrug, "I'm not going to be exploited for my sexuality, and I'm not going to pretend to be in a relationship with someone who I'm not involved with. I quit."  
  
"You don't want to do that," Oikawa tells me, "The purple haired dyke will have a harder time on her own, and you want your cut of the money don't you?"  
  
"I don't care about the money - and don't call Miyako that. She's not a lesbian and she doesn't deserve that type of disrespect."  
  
"Look luv, if you stick around I'll work on giving you less of a role. If you can keep your bitch under control I'll even let her share the lesbian talk with you - less exploitation for you, alright?"  
  
"No, it's not alright. She's not my bitch, and I don't think it's fair-"  
  
"I see," Oikawa looks almost impressed, "This is about money? You want to make sure you two get as much as Ken and Daisuke. Well don't you worry your pretty little heads, so long as you perform-"  
  
"You're not listening to me!" I yell over the top of his voice, my temper finally snapping, "I QUIT. I'm not doing this any more. Ever."  
  
Oikawa looks pointedly at me, "Are you sure this is what you want to do? You signed the same contract as everyone else Hikiki, if you leave your share of the money comes straight to me."  
  
I shake my head in disgust, just barely managing to keep from hitting the sleazy man, "I don't care about that. I never did this to get paid. It was never about the money."  
  
"Au contraire, sweet cheeks, it was always about the money. That's all anyone cares about these days."  
  
I let my lip curl, "Then I guess I'm the exception that proves the rule - I honestly couldn't care less. I quit."  
  
He folds his hands over the desk, and gives me an oily smile, "Your contract of privacy still holds Hikiki - don't ruin your friends big break. And don't let the door hit you on your way out."  
  
I school my features to reveal nothing, a talent I've always been proud of, though I never mastered it to the same extent as Ken, and then I stand and walk out. I know that I've made the right decision. I'm not going to exploit my sexuality, or lie about my relationship with my best friend. I refuse to destroy any and all chance of ever being with a woman - or man - who I am attracted to, or watch two of my closest friends' ruin one of the most intimate completely non-sexual relationships I've ever seen.  
  
I just hope that they'll realise what they're doing to their friendship and just maybe, they'll follow my lead. Right now it's enough that I won't be a part of it.  
  
I recklessly gather my things from our small dressing rooms, taking a cursory glance around for anything else I might need while my friends are otherwise occupied with their insalubrious pursuits. It only takes a few seconds, and while they're not intentionally ignoring me, I'm not really that noticeable, unless I really want to be noticed. I clear my throat and the three of them stop to look at me Ken and Daisuke both mid-drink, and Miyako from the other side of the room.  
  
"You guys? I... I'm sorry, I can't watch you three destroy yourselves like this. I'm leaving." My voice holds steady as I gaze at them.  
  
Ken meets my gaze, stands, and for a second I think he's going to try to stop me, but then he collapses giggling into Daisuke's lap. I don't think he even comprehends what I've just said. Fuck them. I honestly don't care any more.  
  
I turn and gather my things, before briskly walking out without another word, trying to bite back the tears that sting my eyes.  
  
Miyako's footsteps pound behind me, and she reaches out, catching my arm, her golden-brown eyes worried, "What do you mean? Hikari-chan!? Where are you going?"  
  
"I'm leaving," I repeat. "If you had any sense you'd do the same." I gaze at my best friend, but my anger lessens as she bites her lip, casting an anxious look at Daisuke and Ken through the open doorway. They're still drunkenly congratulating themselves on a job well done, their hands and lips all over each other. I can't help but feel hurt for Miyako, but the sight doesn't seem to bother her the way it does me. I never have understood that girl.  
  
"I can't." Her soft husky voice is raw with emotion, her fingers still caught in the fabric of my sleeve, "I can't leave Daisu, I'm sorry, I just... can't. He needs me." Her eyes plead with me silently, begging me to understand. And I do.  
  
I nod, "I know. And when he doesn't, you know where to find me."  
  
"Yeah," Miyako's oh-so expressive eyes hold a watery sheen, "When he doesn't, I'll know where to find you."  
  
I walk about of the building without looking back, but I know that Miyako is silently weeping, and I know that I can't help my best friend.  
  
Authors Notes: Hmm... not quite sure how much I like this chapter, I've been planning to play around with POV's all along, this is my first and probably last attempt at Hikari's. Finished at 1:30AM - yay for middle of the night work.  
  
Oh well, it's a long one, over 5000 words, so hopefully that makes up for the wait, and the POV. I don't think I warned about the Hikora/Sokari. Oops. Anyway, one girl down... One to go. We all noticed there were no girls in the prologue... did we not?  
  
Please Review. Tell me what you think? 


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